I seem to have a true talent for being unhappy. I have many talents; writing, roller derby, cooking, but being unhappy is my one true shining skill. If you could be a professional performer of unhappy, I would be famous.
Aside from having a talent for being unhappy, I also am a professional at creating situations in which I can be unhappy. Or in ruining situations in which I could be happy, which is the opposite of unhappy. It is as if I am afraid to cheat on unhappy with success, or joy, or contentedness. Damn you, monogamy.
Example: I once met a boy. He was wonderful, intelligent, hilarious and had good hair. I felt very happy. I was laughing a lot and smiling and doing lots of cuddling. Unhappy got jealous and demanded that I leave happy and come back to him (unhappy). So, I set about systematically destroying the relationship, much to unhappy's delight. I ruined it to the point that good hair boy will never speak to me again. The only positive thing I can say is that at least I'm not a cheater. I am a one-emotion kind of woman. Lucky me.
No comments:
Post a Comment